intimacy
Coaching
SEX
&
RELATIONSHIPS
In Person and Online Sessions
A Little About Me
Vance is a somatic intimacy coach and certified somatic practitioner based in Toronto, Canada. He works primarily with queer, questioning, and gender-expansive people who were socialized as men, supporting them in navigating shame, intimacy, and desire so they can show up more fully and authentically in their lives and relationships.
Vance’s path into this work began as a certified yoga teacher in 2017, where he discovered the power of helping people slow down, feel their bodies, and stay present with sensation and emotion. His background in yoga, breathwork, and embodiment naturally expanded into movement, dance, and burlesque—spaces where eroticism, expression, and play became pathways to deeper self-connection.
Through somatic intimacy coaching, Vance brings together embodied awareness, emotional presence, and relational practice. His work is experiential and grounded in real-time connection, supporting clients in learning how to stay present with desire, vulnerability, arousal, and boundaries as they arise. Rather than focusing on performance or fixing, the emphasis is on cultivating safety, self-trust, and choice in intimacy.
Growing up queer often means learning to hide parts of ourselves to stay safe. That conditioning can linger into adulthood, shaping how we relate, how we touch, and how much of ourselves we allow to be seen—especially in intimate relationships. Vance understands the impact of shame and rigid ideas of masculinity, and how deeply they can limit emotional expression, connection, and pleasure.
His work supports clients in unlearning those patterns and reconnecting with their bodies as sources of wisdom, desire, and aliveness. Through embodied practice, Vance helps people develop the tools to communicate more honestly, experience intimacy more fully, and create sexual and relational experiences that feel authentic, connected, and deeply human.
what skills will you learn
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Vulnerability
Find the courage to open up and express your desires and needs for more fulfilling relationships
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authenticity
Learn how to truly be yourself and have others see you for who you are
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Connection
Learn tools to be more connected to yourself and deepen your connections with others
WHAT IS SOMATIC COACHING?
Somatic intimacy coaching is a body-based approach to intimacy, sexuality, and connection that focuses on what you feel, not just what you think. Rather than analyzing desire from a distance, this work invites you into direct, present-moment awareness of your body, sensations, and emotional responses as they arise.
In our work together, we slow down and practice staying present in the body while connecting with another person. As arousal, vulnerability, excitement, or discomfort emerge, we explore them in real time. Emotions such as shame, fear, longing, or past relational wounds often show up in intimacy and instead of pushing them away or trying to “fix” them, we work with them directly in the body.
This approach is especially supportive if you find yourself wanting more—more closeness, more pleasure, more confidence, or more ease in sexual and relational experiences—but notice patterns like disconnecting, overthinking, people-pleasing, numbing out, or losing desire. Somatic intimacy coaching helps you recognize those patterns as they happen and develop the capacity to stay present, responsive, and embodied.
Whether you’re seeking deeper emotional intimacy, more satisfying sex, or the freedom to express desire without shame, this work supports you in relating from a place that feels authentic, grounded, and alive—rather than performative or disconnected.
Who is this work for?
This work is for people who want to feel more present, confident, and connected in their intimate lives—especially if sex or intimacy has felt confusing, stressful, or disconnected at times.
You may resonate with this work if you:
Have limited sexual or intimate experience
If you feel unsure, inexperienced, or behind when it comes to sex or intimacy, this work offers a supportive space to slow down, build confidence, and learn how to stay connected to your body rather than relying on performance or expectations.
Haven’t had space to explore your desires openly
Many people grow up without the freedom or safety to fully explore attraction, curiosity, or desire. If parts of your sexuality have been unexplored, suppressed, or kept private, this work supports you in reconnecting with desire in a way that feels grounded, consensual, and self-directed.
Tend to get “in your head” during sex or intimacy
If you find yourself overthinking, monitoring performance, losing sensation, or disconnecting during intimacy, somatic intimacy coaching helps you return to sensation and presence—so intimacy feels more embodied and less mental.
Rely on substances to feel relaxed or connected during sex
If alcohol or drugs have become a way to reduce anxiety, feel confident, or access desire, this work offers alternative tools to experience connection, pleasure, and arousal while staying present in your body.
Want to experience emotional intimacy and feel safe expressing feelings
If emotional closeness feels unfamiliar, difficult, or overwhelming, this work supports you in learning what it feels like to feel safe while expressing emotions such as vulnerability, desire, fear, or tenderness. For many people, emotional intimacy becomes more accessible through embodied and erotic experiences, where feelings can be explored and integrated in a grounded way.
Want to experience sex as more than an act
If you’re interested in understanding sex as an experience of eroticism, connection, and aliveness—not just something you do, but something you feel—this work supports you in developing that awareness and bringing it into your real-life relationships and sexual experiences.
This work is welcoming of queer, questioning, trans, and non-binary clients.
What Happens in a Session?
Sessions are guided, consent-based, and centered on embodied learning through real experience. While every session is different, the work often includes touch, emotional exploration, and erotic awareness as tools for understanding how intimacy shows up in your body.
At the beginning of each session, we check in about what you’re wanting to explore and what feels supportive for you that day. This may include talking about what’s been coming up in your sex life, relationships, or emotional world, as well as setting clear boundaries and intentions for the session.
Touch is an option in this work and may be part of the session, always by mutual consent and at your pace. Sessions may involve exploring giving or receiving touch, noticing arousal, or working with desire and connection as they arise. The focus is not on performance or outcome, but on staying present with sensation, emotion, and choice.
This work takes place within a real, authentic relational container. You are practicing intimacy with another person—not a role, not a script. I hold my own boundaries and consent throughout the session, which means you may experience moments of negotiation, pacing, or hearing a “no.” These moments are a meaningful part of the learning, offering the opportunity to practice asking for what you want, responding to boundaries, and staying connected even when limits arise.
A core part of my role is to help create a sense of safety so you can explore pleasure, connection, and vulnerability without pressure or expectation. When safety is present, it becomes easier to notice what you want, express it honestly, and stay grounded in your body during intimate experiences.
We may also explore fantasy, role play, or erotic themes as a way to understand desire, boundaries, and nervous system responses—always within agreed-upon limits and with clear communication. At times, the work may be less physical and more emotional or conversational, depending on what’s present for you.
Throughout the session, somatic tools are used to support embodiment and awareness. If you notice yourself getting stuck in your head, disconnecting, or feeling overwhelmed, we may slow down and work with breath, sound, movement, or simple grounding practices to help you return to your body. We may also pause to explore what thoughts or emotions are coming up and how they relate to your experience of intimacy.
The intention of each session is learning and integration—helping you recognize patterns, build self-trust, and develop tools you can bring into your real-life sexual and relational experiences.
Ben
“Thanks to you, I am finally truly embracing my sexuality, owning my pleasure, and having the best sex of my life! I thank you for helping me get there.”
Ian
“Vance listened to me, asked me meaningful questions and allowed me to develop an increasing level of intimacy with myself and with him: on my time and at my pace.”
TESTIMONIALS
Michael