what happens in a session
I always have to let people know that I am not a therapist. You are not going to come into a session and sit on my couch to just talk for one hour. My goal is always the same, no matter what the specific issue is, I want to connect with my clients.
Whenever it is a first time session with a client, there is always anxiety and nerves, even with myself. The first step is to create that level of safety within our bodies. This might look like a short chat for a few minutes to allow our nervous systems to gradually ease. If I still feel that the client is feeling anxious, I will get us to stand up, move, maybe shake our bodies, might even dance for a bit, and always taking deep breathes. I always incorporate touch into the sessions, as long as the client feels okay with it. Touch is a powerful tool, that we as humans need to survive. We need to feel we are loved and cared for. Sometimes words do not do enough, but feeling another body being close to ours lets us know we are safe. This might be enough for the client, for us to really connect and for them to share some deeper feelings. It might just be all they need is that closeness for the rest of the session.
After this we might move into different tools for arousal. It might be working on the client’s issue by exploring sensations, partner connection, or role play and fantasies. This always can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable especially if it’s something brand new, or if there is a lot of shame involved.
Throughout this whole process the goal is to remain connected to our bodies to be aware of how we are feeling. So many men have completely disassociated from their emotions, avoided any uncomfortable conversations, and have suffered the consequences of not feeling seen or loved by others. I want my clients to be able to learn tools to find intimacy in their own lives, but during that session I want them to know what authentic connection looks like. For them to be seen in their feelings just as they are in that moment, and for them to know it’s safe to be themselves.
